Happy Birthday, Fella!
Remember to ask me about term life and the new tax code
I just want to take this opportunity to say Happy Birthday to my old friend Steve Bailey. We were classmates back in New Hampshire. You wouldn't believe it now, but ol' Steve used to be quite the rake, if you know what I mean. Me and the other guys on the track team used to razz him about dating Suzie Radcliffe and her sister Pam at the same time. He'd turn all red-like and get kind of flustered and threaten to kick our butts on his blog, whatever-the-hell that was. Talked about it all the time. My blog this and my blog that. Made us all wonder if maybe he had a loose screw or something. But that was a long time ago, and a lot of water under the bridge. I lost touch with him right after high school. He said when he graduated he was going to France because people there weren't so "dainty." Like we ever complained about his hygiene in the first place! Hell, we all were a little gamey after a big meet, and we really could give a hoot. Long story short, I followed Steve around for awhile in the papers. There were always stories in the Daily Moosecall, mostly about his troubles with the authorities here and there, and mostly stuff you woudn't want the kids to read. Then he just flat disappeared... that is until I ran across him here on the Frenzy. Jeez, with the plastic surgery and all, it was hard to tell. Very slick job, whoever did it! But I recognized that old goofy look, though, and he's still wearing the same shirt he had in high school. What really cinched it, though, was the way he savages that poor dumb, SOB Underwood. That's just how he used to talk to Ordy McIntosh. Always putting him down in front of the other kids and giving him wedgies and such. That's when I knew it really was him. So, Happy Birthday to the eighth fastest miler on the team! (Or was it ninth?) And here's hoping the deal with the statute of limitations in France finally passes muster with Homeland Security. It's gotta' suck trying to explain everything every time you cross the state line. Oh... and Suzie Radcliffe says hi. Earl Barnes Patriot Life and Casualty Bileborough, NH (PS; DU is hoofin' today, back on wheels tomorrow)