Don't Worry, Be Happy

Jun 30, 2010
plumbing
God help me, but I love her in that outfit...
My physical therapist just left. Part of her job is to give The Talk to home-bound cardio patients, making sure they understand the "lifestyle changes" they'll need to adopt if they want to avoid another toga party in the OR. Lifestyle changes?! I took a few notes. "So when you drink your coffee in the morning, remember to lift the cup with your knuckles and not with your wrists. Any undo strain could pop your aorta and spray blood all over the couch." "Loud music will be out now, I'm afraid. Those old Electric Flag albums? Lose them. Remember, you're using replacement veins the size of baby butterfly legs now.. Getting yourself all amped-up on degenerate be-bop music could pop your aorta and spray blood all over the couch." I was sensing a pattern. I asked her about exercise and, well... you know... s-e-x. As a Nurse-Ratched-look turned her face to deep granite, she said, "The important thing is to just relax and have fun. I'm not trying to scare you. But do bear in mind; any overexcitement could pop your aorta and spray blood all over the couch." Then, like the aperture petals of an expensive German camera, a perfect origami smile appeared, then vanished, above her porcelain chin. "Now, do you have any other questions?" I'll be doing laps around the Three South nurse's station this morning with my IV stand and a big reflective orange triangle strapped to my butt, case anyone wants to join the fun. Going home later today. Schlag alert: Thanks to all my wonderful Frenz for their thoughts, visits, and gifts this week, by the way. Y'all are the best and it's made more difference than you can know. Also, say a brief prayer for Herr Bailey. He's back in his hood vacationing, and you know how he gets. (Have fun, Bro!) DU